My god! Men got ripped off in the whole wedding registry idea.

Everyone out there is going to say that the registry and gifts aren't important.  And normally I would agree.  But they have to give the guy one thing.  

I wanted to put a 56" television on there.  I know. It is too big for the apartment.  But gosh darn it (got to watch the language...kids and all), I want it.  And if someone wanted to buy it for me, they should have the right.   I said, "Dear, let's put a 56" television on the registry." She told me I couldn't do it.  I said yes, I can. It is my wedding too.  

So, after a couple of nights on the couch, I gave up on the television.  But I realized that the couch isn't the most comfortable in the world either.  So I said, "Honey, let's put a couch on the registry.  Maybe a matching love seat, or a chair.  That would be nice."  At least this time, the cat checked on me at night on the couch.

So I looked up the rules on what you can put on the registry.  At 6'2, 240lbs (I am sticking to that), the couch is not the most comfortable. 

MEN! WHEN DID WE LOSE CONTROL! I want someone to find something masculine that you are allowed to put on the registry.  I dare you!  Dishes? Cookware? Toaster Oven?  Towels... Let me tell you about towels...

There are 5,000,000,000 towels out there.  There are bath towels, hand towels, face towels (if you are washing your face and hands, why wouldn't you use the same towel), bath towels, showers towels (so, I have to decide way before I deal with getting myself clean if I am gonna take a bath or a shower so I have the correct towel), fingertip towel (see hands and face towels above), and I would be surprised if there is a special foot towel (besides the bath mat). 

Do you know what I want? 

I want a house. With a pool. And a dog. Maybe a Chrysler Sebring Convertible.  A bench saw and the working room to use it.  Cash money wouldn't hurt either.  

I can't  help but wondering which men sat there and said, yes dear, fine china is exactly what I want! That way, our friends think we have a ton of money.  And we will only use it on special occasions (when the parents come over).  That way, we can say we belong to society.   

Please don't get me crystal. I don't need it. Nor do I need sterling silver flatware.  I don't want formal China or informal China (and why is it China, why not Japan or India).

I want power tools, and a floor jack.  I want 300 horse power in my hands (and no, not a hand mixer!).

Ok, I have said my piece...get Sheila whatever is on the registry.  

Remember, the wedding is September 28, 2002.